The Watchmen Movie: Reviewed (read as: Too Much Blue Penis)
Just got back from watching The Watchmen on opening night, a midnight release… yea, I know I am a geek and you love me for it. 
Directed by Zack Snyder (300 and Dawn of the Dead), and hailed as one of the most anticipated comic book… excuse me… graphic-novel-to-movie crossovers this year, The Watchmen is a gritty, dark, and violent alternate 1985 where masked heroes are either retired or outlawed and the world is perched on the brink of Global Thermonuclear War (thanks Wargames). Even if you haven’t read the novels, you’ll get a sense that this story is way bigger than the movie and can still enjoy all the twists and turns in the plot. A few things worth noting…
First off, sweet lord of mercy, the amount of blue CGI penis is staggering, I mean seriously… it’s like “The Smurfs go to Penis Island”. There is one scene, and I kid you not, where there are no less than 4 (maybe… 5 I got kinda scared that I was counting) blue CGI penii (sp?) on screen at one time. I think Snyder had to try pretty hard to cram that much blue wing-wang on the screen… sweet goodness, I don’t want to see that! Also, there is slightly uncomfortable sex scene that goes on a little too long.
Two. The action sequences are brilliant and gorgeous, that’s right, that camera work you loved from 300 and Dawn of the Dead are there in all their bloody, slow motion beauty. The blood, the shattered glass, the occasional severed arm, and the vehicles are rendered perfectly and you almost forget that humans can’t jump 20 feet onto pavement and not go splat — you totally believe what you are being shown, yet it strangely reminds me of the 60’s TV Batman… it is a weird dichotomy.
The violence, is strong and frequent, so this isn’t exactly a date movie, but then again what you do is up to you My wife said that she she liked it and enjoyed the story, but she didn’t like SAW, so slot it in-between Wanted and SAW in terms of graphic blood and violence.
All in all, I say go see it, if you liked 300 you’ll most likely enjoy it, if anything, it is surely an epic film and it makes me want to go dust off my old Watchmen novels and read through them all over again — as with any good adapted book or a comic, they should point you back to the original material, and The Watchmen does just that and leaves you wanting more.
The Watchmen: A-
Click here to launch 
for the Watchmen Motion Comics,
actual comic frames animated to narration — they’re pretty amazing.
Amazon has the full series for about $10 (click here)
Trailer after the jump:
I gott a see this movie. I’ll just cover my eye during all the penii parts